Saturday, February 26, 2011
notice
i probably won't be updating this blog for a long period of time (as if i had been updating this lol). so i guess this will count as an indefinite hiatus.
mainly for the following reasons:
(a) i'm too lazy or i don't have anything to blog about nowadays considering i haven't been seeing tref or anything that captures my attention.
(b) deadline for the project in fil is slowly making it's way. i need to help isabelle with the comic thing since her hands are already full from playing one of the major roles in our photoshoot/pictorial/whatever.
(c) i'm highly anticipating f(x)'s comeback. 8DD so i would probably be focused more on other places such as tumblr and affxtion.
(d) i might make a new blog (?) because i feel like starting everything from scratch, fresh and new. like milk. trolololol.
(e) i feel horrible for not attending SS3. i will probably seclude myself from humanity due to this very preposterous reason.
Labels: brb
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
chaptered
I.
she sits under a blinking streetlight, marveling at the sight of the busy port that had inhabited a once sought-out water reserve.
'hey,' a voice, shaping itself as one belonging to a boy, says softly, causing her to lift her face and look at him in the eye.
'you okay?' he asks. she just nods.
'doesn't seem like it,' he sits down beside her but he doesn't look.
'i am!' she shoots a glare at him.
'alright, alright' he raises his hands in defeat.
'who are you?' she asks, trying to maintain her glare.
'nice question,' he says, 'who are you?'
she finds this insulting, 'i asked you first!'
'questions to be answered do not need to be conditioned or sorted out according to who asked first,' he grins. she concludes that he is playing with her.
'alright, fine.' she gives up, 'my name is sadie. what's yours?'
'nice to meet you, sadie.' he smiles.
'you didn't answer my question!'
'i don't have to answer your question,' he says, 'people are not required to answer questions. you answer if you feel like it.'
this boy was irritating her. 'so you don't feel like answering me, then?'
'nope'
'why else are you here?' she demands.
'i want to be here,' he looks at her, fixing his eyes on hers. she can feel an immediate surge of emotion rushing through her mind, morphing themselves into images of the dead and the dying. every thought that had passed through this boy's mind now somehow seeped into her skin.
she stared at him for a moment, meticulously studying the features in his face she had overlooked--his unruly black hair, bushy eyebrows, the way his bangs swept across his face highlighting the vivid brown color that were his eyes.
'well, you're not allowed.' she says, despite her slight acknowledging his attractiveness.
'why not?'
'i'm not going to answer that question,'
II.
she looks at a shop widow, gazing at the mesmerizing white dress that was displayed.
'what are you looking at?' a voice asks.
she jumps back in a startled manner, accidentally hitting the nose of the speaker.
'sor--' she stops herself as she figured who the speaker was, 'you again?'
'hey,' he smiles, 'i wasn't hurt, by the way'
'oh god, i'm so sorry i didn't realize--'
'no amount of apologies can ever compensate for the pain that you inflicted on a person.'
she gives him a guilty look.
'but that's why the past was created,' he continues, smiling at her, 'it shelters the previous sins of one man, allowing them to relieve themselves of the pain those sins had bore on them.'
'what is with you and all these deep statements?' she looks at him weirdly.
'nothing much,' he smiles.
III.
she walks on the streets, passing dim streetlights and drunk truck drivers. she doesn't seem mind.
'what are you still doing up?' a voice creeps into her skin.
startled, she looks behind. she finds him again looking doubtful.
'are you stalking me?' she says, raising an eyebrow.
'maybe yes, maybe no.' he says, 'the important thing is, you should be home by now'
'why do you care anyway?'
'oh a fourteen-year-old girl walking around alone in an alley full of drunk men. what's to care about?'
'oh, ha-ha. you think i can't take care of myself, don't you?'
'i didn't sa--'
'well you thought wrong, mister.' she shoots him another glare. as she walks away, she can hear him sigh.
'well at least let me walk you home.' he suggests.
she doesn't respond but he walks with her anyway.
IV.
'you haven't told me your name yet.' she says.
she has a point. they've been acquaintances for a few weeks now, spending their moments together in awkward silence. she doesn't know a single detail about him (except for the fact that his eyes hide a sense of pain and agony which she still cannot manage to explain in words).
'i'll tell you when i want to tell you.' he smiles.
'now you're just being rude.' she plucks a blade of grass and rolls it between her fingers.
he laughs, 'my name is nico. but that's all i can tell you.'
'why?'
'sadie,' he begins, 'there are just some things in life you really shouldn't know about.'
'there you go again'
he smiles and pinches her cheek. she blushes at their unusual physical interaction.
V.
she gazes outside, cursing at the rain for deciding to fall on such an important occasion. she had promised to meet nico at the park, but due to the heavy rainfall, it seems as if their plan for meeting was cancelled.
'stupid rain,' she curses quietly, 'i wonder what he's thinking right now'
VI.
she kicks a can of soda that lies lifelessly on the ground. he has been gone for two days straight.
she admits to herself that she misses him. dearly.
'when will he come back?' she asks nothing.
she looks up at the sky, at the stars that scintillate across its vast canvas. they look down on her. billions of them look down on her, making her feel small and trivial. like a rodent in a wheat field.
VII.
in a few days, school will begin. it will mark the beginning of the busy days that would keep her away from her recreational activities, which include nico.
he hasn't shown up. nor has he left any sign of himself still remaining in the vicinity. it's as if he, and everything that was connected in any way to him, was blown off by the wind and sent to a far away place, enclosed, out of her reach.
she picks up a piece of paper, grabs any pencil or pen she could get her hands on and begins to write.
when she looks at her finished product, she reads it again. and again. she finds that it lacks meaning, or even grammatical knowledge.
'this is stupid,' she realizes, 'i don't even know where he lives.'
she crumples the paper and throws it in a trash bin.
VIII.
'sadie,' he says, 'there are just some things in life you really shouldn't know about.'
those words keep her up. it sends chills down her spine. chills she couldn't explain, like the feeling of being too engrossed in his eyes.
tears trickle down her cheek.
'who are you, nico?'
VIIII.
after seventy two years of living, her body gave in. she was no longer the girl who ran across the street, knocking any can she can get her feet to kick. she was no longer the girl who sidled out of the house and sat in a hill overlooking the city nightlife.
she was weak and soon, her corpse would dissipate, leaving nothing of her on earth.
she lay on her bed, trying desperately to get up and go to the porch where she could see the millions of constellations that were scattered across the night sky. but she couldn't.
she was tired. as tired as those old grandmothers in retirement homes, alone with no grandfathers to complete their equation.
as old as she may be, she doesn't forget his face. his young angelic face that had loomed over hers for a brief period of time. the face that she wasn't accustomed to losing.
'sadie' she hears him say. 'sorry for leaving you. i know that no matter how many times i apologize, it will never abrogate the countless times you were haunted by my disappearance.
her chest felt heavy. it was from her conscience, given as the only means to elate her in her times of pain. but it was negating it's purpose.
'no amount of apology will ever make up for the tears you shed,
her eyelids felt heavy. it was clear that she was tired. she forces herself to stay awake, for when she sleeps, it is possible that she may never wake again.
'for the times you needed me but i wasn't there,
she couldn't handle it much longer. her eyelids were half-closed.
'for the times you constantly called out my name but i never came,
she imagines him, looking at her with his eyes that had once baffled her but now were warm and lenient. he smiles at her, and then laughs when he sees her expression.
'i could never make up for the state i left you in,
he stands up and walks, gesturing her to follow him. she hesitates at first, but his smile makes it hard to refuse.
'maybe one day, when we meet again, we could start over,
he was running now, but on a pace she could keep up with. he laughs at her, she smiles back.
he holds out his hand.
'in that one day, i promise with all my soul,
memories flash back.
the ones she had buried deep within the corners of her bare flesh emerge once again, flooding her mind with images of the good times she had spent with him (although few).
'i will never leave you,
she pressed her palm against his and holds on to it, tight. she doesn't want to let it go, afraid that he might leave her again if she did.
she doesn't want him to leave.
'i will never let you go on your own,
he takes her gently and leads her into a vast meadow of daisies. he points at the sky and says something she couldn't hear.
'i will protect you, sadie
white feathery wings sprout from his shoulders. they flap and carry him in the air. he takes her by the waist and hoists her up.
he plants a kiss on her forehead.
'we will see each other again,
sadie's room was quiet. the only sound audible was the ceiling fan that was left open by her niece.
sadie's niece comes in and finds her lying lifelessly on her bed. she calls for her father to come. when he does, he looks out the window because he could've sworn he heard the flapping of wings.
'i promise.'
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
come take my hand and lets ride 'till the morning meets the night;
the exams weren't that hard. english was actually pretty easy. except for the vocabulary part. half of the words in the choices are way out of my league lmao. filipino was the same. i had prblems with the essay part, though. i'm not exactly very fluent when it comes to using super deep words in my native tongue. i would've done better if i wrote it in english but then that would be opposing the actual reason of having filipino =))))))))))))
ok different topic now. i saw zen's pictures in canada and i was like ;A; and i was listening to senti songs too orz. nako ang emo ko talaga. zen is pretty in her pix btw ;A; i can't believe that i'll have to continue on with my life without her in it. i really miss her and i really want to talk to her and i really want to hug her again ;---; i don't know what i'll become without her. seriously. our cabinet space thing used to be so clean and orderly when she was still here, and now it just looks like a messier mess dump thing by an overworked employee. TROLOLOL. but she doesn't need to know. loooooooooooooool 8D bd
me and my friends visited tref during break time. his male classmates hated meek and they were like, "go away!!" "tref is not here!!" "tref is dead" "when you see tref tomorrow, he will be in a coffin!" "we're just protecting him from you" LOOOOL his classmates are funny. when meek entered their classroom and was all "tref i love u, you cute lil kid" tref climbed up the cabinets and hung there for a while until meek carried him down LOOOL. then, he ran towards the window and attempted to jump off it =)) good thing the window was "caged" if you know what i mean. which means he will just be stuck up there. well at least it's better than falling.
then in lunch time, only meek and chelsea went because i had to accompany rox somewhere LOOL. she's my new date in the prom btw lmao. with lillibelle too. we're an awesome threesome LOOOL. anyway, meek tried to hold tref's hand. when his friends saw, they swarmed up around her and kept slapping her arm until it got red LOOOOOL =)))) also, when we saw him in the hallway, meek shouted "TREEEFF!" and tref was like "ew"and then he hid. LOOL. i need to befriend this kid.
these events make me question if he really is like this every day in school.
ok wala na akong maiblog.
high high g'bye.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
you make me feel like a complete work of art when i'm just falling apart;
today was a really super fun hyper day for moi. quite ironic really. today is also the first day of exams. i'm supposed to be depressed especially since i forgot to follow the directions in mathematics which give me an automatic -15. and i wasn't also able to answer this super hard question which is worth 10 points. goddamit. :| well whatever. wala naman din akong magagawa. haaay, i suddenly wish that the test wasn't over 55. i would've failed straightaway haha. business was a different story. i'm kind of confident with it since i studied :-P
anyway, my blog post isn't supposed to be about the stupid exams. it's supposed to be about tref haha. me and my friends went to his classroom during lunch break. they all glomped him like, "omg treffiness i love uuu" and he was like, "eeeew" haha i would've said the same thing, though. it's sad that i just stood there and didn't join the group's quite hard embrace lool. we used the excuse of wanting to visit ms kaycee when we actually just wanted to see cute little tref.
i think we visited his classroom like three times today haahaaa and all i did was stand by the door watching my friends hug him. :C my interaction with children is so depressing. at this rate, i'll never be his friend argh :C it's not faiirr /wails
tomorrow's tests: filipino and english. english is okay. filipino is okay, too. i guess. i understood noli so what's to be worried about?
okay i guess i have nothing else to blog about. i'd probably visit tref again tomorrow since me and my friends now use the 3rd floor bathroom (which is near his classroom.) instead of our floor's. hey it's not only for my benifit jsyk. my friend's two crushes are also resident 3rd floorists. so it's like hitting three birds with one stone. =)))))))))))
speaking of. me and said friend made this really random and weird convo which goes like;
person 1: which class has super hot guys?person 2: 3 & 4person 1: oh, i like the 3rd years and 4th years too!person 2: *whispers* grade 3 & 4.
holy shit people.
"a really nice piece of art."
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
hi i'm finally blogging again or so i think
i did something for zen again. the nicadie thing. it took a while actually. =)) i was so lazy the past days.
i know, the drawing is basically pink and it's not either nico or sadie's style of color. i should've chose purple or black or something but no |8 coz i can't color like a pro. but behind those totally uncool brush strokes and coloring, i'm pretty proud of my work 8)
and now she's asking for a fic. omg. LOOOOL. but i would do anything for my best friend. besides, i'm enjoying this too anyway LOOOOOL. nicadie is like my top ship. i would do anything for anyone as long as it has any relation at all to nicadieee. <3
-
i've finished the first two books of the hunger games--the hunger games & catching fire. both were super great. as in. when it comes to books, i always prefer the ones that give me a feeling of thrill. i love those books which end chapters with cliffhangers. it makes you want to read more. it gives you the motivation unlike some other books that when you read the first few words, you could already guess what's about to happen and how it would end.
anyway, i've been stuck in mockingjay for a few days now xD i haven't been reading constantly because i've been distracted with so much more things such as "taemin" <3 and some other stuffs. but i promised myself that i would finish it by the end of this week. hopefully, i could fulfill that lol.
when i finish the trilogy, i'll start it again! lol that's how great it is. you should try reading it. scratch that. you MUUUST try reading it. it's great and worth every minute you spend with your eyes glued on the pages. you won't regret it. unless you don't enjoy reading about rebellion and unrequited love loool. peeta ily.
school. nothing much has been happening. either that or i've been too focused on "taemin" . lmao. ok i think i should stop with all this shenanigans cause he's just an elementary kid who happens to be adorable in every way (~ ﾟ▽ﾟ)~ and i'm like a junior in high school which is sad. no i'm not in love with him. i just find him really cute and attractive. in fact, he's the one who stands out the most among his classmates. ~（♡´∀`♡）~ (MANGGAGAYA KA MEEK HA. =)) i liked a kid first!! jk)
prom is coming up. i don't feel like joining. it's not that i'm lazy or anything, i just don't like those kinds of socialization. generally, i don't like socializing with people. loool. that makes me sound like a closeted hobo but it's true. i really don't enjoy those kinds of boy-girl party stuffs. i don't understand why people are so consistent about making me join. it's not my thing lol. your argument is invalid 'cause everyone has their own opinions about something and this is mine. i'm just not into the whole gown-thing. i would go if i could wear jeans. but i guess that's asking for too much considering the event is a p r o m and not a trip to the mall. =)))
ok that's it about what's the big thing in my life as of this week.
02/09/11
Labels: drawing